RIP Steve Irwin (1966? -- 2006)

waa this news is quite sad. (strike for crocs everywhere ==@^,^^,^~~)

steve irwin's head just got pawned by stingray for 1000000 extra gold.

but on the other hand, this goes to show that we should't frolic around with animals that are about 3 times our height or weight. and has a sting that is about the length of our forearm. not to mention that the sting can knock out a great white shark in seconds. kudos to what it can do to a human. (thou the human is a weirdo)

but however

much as everyone believes it to be an accident, i believe in a higher order.

after all, which well-known TV or media persona dint get murdered or met an untimely death??

1) John Fitzgerald Kennedy. assasinated in Dallas, Texas on 22nd November 1963. Killed by multiple bullet shots through the head, throat and chest.
And so far it has been proven by the highly investigative conspiracy theorists on the internet that the CIA are the ones responsible. and the FBI, the mafia, the yakuza, the hanava hombres, lyndon johnson, fidel castro, marilyn monroe, gandhi, saddam hussein, etcetcetc

2) Martin Luther King. assasinated in Memphis, Tennessee on 4th April 1968. Killed by a single shot in the throat.
and with the netizens brilliant detective and deductive skills honed by watching endless reruns of CSI and batman comics, we have narrowed down the suspects to a select few. Lyndon johnson, the FBI, the CIA, the mafia, the yakuza, malcolm x, muhammad ali, muhammad ilman, malcolm in the middle, britney spears, oh jeez the list is endless.

anyway back to the topic. Steve Irwin (god bless his soul)

as with our dearly departed 2 friends above whose contribution to us is to supply us quotes that we pore over endlessly,

there IS a conspiracy to get him killed!!!!

ahhh!!!

1) the stingray is actually NOT a stingray. it is actually a highly complex machinery that is operated by 2 men (for references go to wikipedia to read up on captain's nemos nautili). 1 person drives the "stingray/machine" hybrid by flapping the fins and eating lots of beans. the other one is the hit-man. he controls the sting, which in fact, is not a sting!!! but rather a harpoon tipped with a deadly metabolic poison or microorganisms (such as cyanide or EDTA or Clostridium Botulinum or Sacchomyces Cerevisae)

2) and when Stevie swims up near the stingray, (due to the fact that the stingray is nearly immobile due to the limiting factor of the driver having a threshold on how many beans he can eat)

3) BAM!! perfect shot into the heart. through the pericardium. bullzeyez. and of course after that the stingray has to flap away rapidly to escape suspicion (they do this be Bernoulli's effect. by designing the fin of the stingray to provide maximum lift, the stingray simply flies away). So to all detectives, dont search the sea, search the skies instead.

then comes the fundamental question...

HUDUNNIT? (who done(did) it for u suakus)

many many suspects as usual. as in obviously, being a popular media personality, he had made a lot of enemies.

Firstly. the australians.
steve irwin, admittedly, overdos the aussie accent a bit too much. after all, which of us doesnt sterotype aussies now as pple who wear khaki and say crikey, mate, awwww look at the size of thatt etcetc.
Cmon, aussies have a MUCH more colourful vocab that starts with mainly F or M. esp during rugby games.
so maybe john howard chartered the australian secret service (ASS) to kill that pain in the ass and finally address his flagging popularity.

New Zealanders!! (or new zealandees?)
New Zealand is always Australia's kid brother (cept in rugby). Maybe producers of a New Zealand based TV series wanted to make a new show: Steveaniru Iriniwina and the Kiwi Hunter. But to ensure they have the top spot in all oceania, they have to do away with the main competition. Steve Irwin and the Crocidile Hunter!!. aka bubye steve irwin u gotta go.

Greenpeace
you know those pple. fed up with stevies bullying and taunting of the poor innocent crocs, they finally decided to get even. and what better way to do it through a stingray?? after all the most we ever saw of it was on a ri canteen table. and when his guard is down........ poke.

and of course there are many more suspects, such as viacom, wally gator, the secret crocodile kingdom near jaafer's house, etcetc.

whatever it is, Steve Irwin, you will be missed.

random quote: Death is just the beginning. -- High Priest Imhotemp in the Mummy.

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