defeat

yup

we lost.

15-10. good job saints.

fucking hell. fucking fucking hell.

sorry i don't really get emotional while blogging but this is different. (i am holding back my tears as im writing this out. seriously i thought they were all gone. ahh fuck.)

well since its not good to wallow in self pity or contempt, i would just like to say a big thank you to all those who mattered to me, and then move on. (time to clear the mountain of tutorials and assignments :S)

my family: to mum, dad, lijie, thanks for putting up with all my lame excuses why im too tired to study cos of training, for putting up with all my weird moods, and thanks for being there always, for supporting me during my hardest times. though i may not say it directly to your faces, and i may not show it, i really love u all.

my classmates: who have put up with my constant changes in moods for the past month.
marcus, yockteng, lizhan, jon and yuanhao who had to put up with all of my bullshit and gaying around in class. (that won't end for a while :P especially for yockteng)
liru, evelyn, jeslyn, sinhui, sam, huiwen and shuyi, well, for also putting up with all my bullshit and crap.
bimbos, for brightening up my mood sometimes with all of your lameness and pure weirdness. (Imagine Sherlene going "GEEEELLGEEEELLL!!!")
even michelle, whom, when we were still talking terms, told me never to neglect my training and my teammates. yea thanks.
siyuan, my ragdoll in class (get used to getting thrown around hah!)
mingchuan, who had nothing but words of encouragement for me always (happy birthday btw)
charlotte, who sometimes kept notes for me when i wasnt around, who was always so supportive of the rugby season even though she was so damn busy with her tennis/piano/mugging/whateverelse.

basically thanks to all of my classmates, sometimes u all really make my day.

my teachers: who have put up with all my excuses of why im so tired in lessons, why my work is late or not handed in, why why why. Mrs Lim, Mr Koh, Mr Tan, Miss Chia and Mr Lim. sometimes i know i really infuriate u all by my slackness. don't worry i will start my hardcore mugging now that i have no excuses. don't worry about me.

the supporters today: thanks to all of the supporters and councilors who actually bothered to come to the desolate place that is the home academy. Really meant a lot to us for u all to be there, cheering us on when we are winning and even when we were down. really sorry that we could not give u guys a victory. really sorry that you all had to see us break down. The Instituition Anthem at the end just did it for us. most of us just let our emotions flow. Anyway we really appreciate and would like to send a big thank you to everyone who was there. all my friends whom i saw there (chenwei, bencai, guang, too many to think)

Cat, Shumin & Dani & Evelyn: thanks for the "care packages" that we received before our finals match (mine are still unopened and uneaten). and of course, all the touch ruggers who were there with the supporters to support us. (carmen, michellekoo, nina, amanda and others whom i know by face but not by name)

Mr Blackburn, Rhys, Mr Siva & Mr Khamel: mr blackburn, our head coach, who was the one most instrumental in helping us reach the finals and bringing us so close to victory. this guy is seriously a brilliant man and it was an honour to be able to work with him. Rhys, our forwards coach. Mr Siva, our teacher in charge, who was albeit a bit niao with us on at times for our conduct. (though we know it was for our own good. yea) Mr Khamel, our other teacher in charge

and of course,

the ruggers: a big shout out to the guys in school that mattered the most to me. where do i even begin?

It has been an honour and a prilivege to be with u guys in the rugby team, going out on the field, sweating, bleeding, crying with u guys. Winning with u guys, fighting, battling, falling with u all. Today, though we lost, you all are my heroes. u all are my idols. we all are champions together.

so what if we did not win anything in our 6 years together?
so what if we did not feel as if we accomplish anything?

so what if we have each other?

in our 6 years, we have gained each other. we have grown up in these 6 years knowing that someone would always be there to help u, to protect and defend you, to watch our backs, to die for u. these bonds forged are stronger than steel or adamantium or whatever. so dint we accomplish something? was 6 years really for naught?

we are a band of brothers.
we win as a band of brothers.
we lose as a band of brothers.
we die as a band of brothers.
no matter what, we will always have each other.

we know each others most private secrets, we share our most private secrets, we shall always treasure the bonds of friendship that we have made. not even the saints or the apostles or whoever can take that away from us.

remember who we are playing for. true, we are representing raffles, we are playing for raffles, but we go into any match or competition not for our own individual selfs, but for each other. for the guy next to you, for the guy whom you will place your life in, for the guy who has been through hell and back for you.

everyone in the team: ilman, glen, jed, wenloong, senthil, jaaf, arjun, wenjie, ryan, hanyi, steve, don, myself, thadd, bigaaron, smallaaron, karwei, cheemeng, just, zhehan, nazi, mark, stuart, justin, roland, david, joel, john, bentun and daniel. we are all winners. i owe everything to u guys.
everyone in the team today mattered the most to me. everyone. so screw the result and move on.



and so a chapter closes.

random quote: All for one, one for all, R-A-F-F-L-E-S raffles!!!!!!!!!!!!!!